Then I had to confess to our two teenage daughters. Difficult to say the least! It is so hard to be transparent with our children when it is what they need most from us.
I do not know what temptations you struggle with today. I do now that 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us that God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. If this is an area of struggle for you, I want to encourage you to:
Be open and transparent about your struggle. Find accountability partners.
Change your habits and your environment to make pornography less accessible.
Seek professional help.
There is hope and help. You’ll find more of my story and resources on Women & Pornography at www.livingthelifetransparent.org.
ABOUT Robin Nordhues
I am a speaker, blogger and workshop leader with a passion for connecting women to God and each other. A Bible Study teacher and independent business leader for over 15 years, I strive to discuss contemporary issues with women of all ages through a Biblical lens.
Melissa Ruff from XXX Church, an online ministry dedicated to helping people with porn and sex addictions, tried to answer this question by letting couples reflect on their need or want to do so.
If you think you know the face of addiction, spend a morning at Caring Services of High Point. This private, non-profit agency provides intensive outpatient treatment, transitional housing and supported living for people suffering from addiction.
Caring Services, a recovery agency, holds an open session at 9 a.m. Monday through Friday for people struggling with all types of addiction, people who have lost loved ones to addiction and people who just want to learn about addiction. There is a strict anonymity rule for all who attend.
On this day, white people outnumbered black people, and the young — from teenage to early middle-age — outnumbered the old.
There were moments of tears and laughter, anguish and triumph.
“My kids used to walk on the other side of the street because they didn’t want to be seen with me,” said one mother in recovery. “So when they say, ‘I’m proud of you, Mom,’ that really means something.”
“We love shopping,” he says. “We love to buy things. We love covering stuff up so we don’t see what it is. The work you do here is to earn what you can’t buy at the mall. It’s a lot of work, but it’s worth it.”
Another man talks about the hunger for drugs that still grips him, though he remains abstinent. “My desire is very active, even if I’m not using it,” he said. “You can use without using. I can turn to scratch-offs, porn, all kinds of things. But sooner or later, I know I’ll go back to doing what I used to do.”
He speaks from having endured recovery and relapsed, almost dying of an overdose. This time, he’s learning to find happiness in things that won’t destroy him.
“I went out on the porch this morning to work out, and a bird had built a nest in the corner. She peeked her head up and looked at me,” he said, laughing and shaking his head. “When I was using, I would have never even noticed that bird.”
“We were sold years ago on the idea that addicts were people that lived under a bridge,” said Jamison Monroe Jr., founder of teen addiction recovery center Newport Academy.
But in the last few years, opioid abuse has hit epidemic proportions, and white people have had the largest increase in heroin addiction.
Monroe, who is a recovering addict, said it’s helping to change the stereotypes around what an addict looks like. “We’re coming to know that addiction does not discriminate based on demographics or income brackets or zip code.”
In fact, there are 22.7 million Americans who need treatment for drug and alcohol related issues, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.
tech taboo smoking quote
Some tech entrepreneurs, many of whom are former addicts, are building businesses focused on addiction prevention and treatment. They believe that algorithms and apps can support addicts and help them relearn healthy behaviors.
Current treatment options largely fall into two buckets: in-patient facilities and support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. But after leaving a treatment center, patients get very little followup; and AA, which popularized the 12 step program, is faith-based which doesn’t jibe with everyone. A recent survey found that 89% of AA members are white.
“[It] makes no sense that we’re using the same [Alcoholics Anonymous] model from 1935,” said entrepreneur Sam Frons.
Frons, who is a recovering addict, sees the need for a more data-driven approach to addiction recovery. Her startup Addicaid has developed a three-pronged strategy targeting individuals, clinics and insurance providers.
“I’ve been drinking and drugging since I was 13 years old. Those 30 years are making that one year feel like nothing,” said one man, who would mark a year of sobriety the following day.